Patricia Yarberry Allen, M.D. is a Gynecologist, Director of the New York Menopause Center, Clinical Assistant Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Weill Cornell Medical College, and Assistant Attending Obstetrician and Gynecologist at New York-Presbyterian Hospital. She is a board certified fellow of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Dr. Allen is also a member of the Faculty Advisory Board and the Women’s Health Director of The Weill Cornell Community Clinic (WCCC). Dr. Allen was the recipient of the 2014 American Medical Women’s Association Presidential Award.

This month Arianna Huffington, president and editor-in-chief of AOL Huffington Post Media, named the actress and producer Rita Wilson editor-at-large of Huff/Post 40, a website for people “over 40.”

In making the announcement about the new site for the Baby Boomer generation, Huffington said of Wilson, “Her belief that it’s never too late to follow your dreams makes her the perfect godmother for Huff/Post 40 as it takes shape.”

Even though Wilson won’t launch the site until August, Mary Elizabeth Williams of Salon has already responded to the announcement. She writes it is “downright silly” for media sites to include women over 40 in the same demographic as those older women who examine issues that extend to the end of life.

We at Women’s Voices for Change have had this conversation many times and we disagree.

Why is it important for women at 40 to be included in the many later-in-life conversations, including those about hormonal change, late-in-life relationships, ageism in the work place and all the other topics that come clear as women examine the vitality that comes after youth? Because that is where they will find what they need to know to embrace what is happening to them already.

I have always found women who claim that they were at their best as high school prom queens or as brides in their 20s, or as mothers in their 30s to have an odd world view or strong capacities for denial.

As a gynecologist, I have seen unending evidence that during their 40s women need support but often fail to recognize it. They are actively managing children, homes, careers and relationships. They are either frantically trying to squeeze out some time for themselves or exhausted from the lack of self care. They are also terrorized by the negative connotations of aging and the loss of power associated with change in reproductive function that is inevitable.

Freedom from vaginal bleeding, tampons, pads, menstrual cramps, PMS and the downsides of any and all contraceptive methods should be viewed with anticipation not dread. Freedom from hands-on child care is not the loss of identity. It’s the opportunity to embrace a real and personal authenticity — often for the first time ever.

Change cannot be escaped. Women who are navigating the menopausal transition or who have completed it with grace and fortitude are invaluable role models to women who repress the reality of the changes they are encountering. One’s 40s are filled with metamorphosis that is subtle and often confusing. Only information can remove shame and denial and create the opportunity for clear thinking, goal setting, improved health and reinvention.

Perhaps without realizing it, Mary Elizabeth Williams gives voice to the fear of growing older. To join the sisterhood of older, confident, grown-up women at age 40 is not to sign up for membership in “one big lumpy swarm, just eating fiber together and buying products with the word ‘mature’ somewhere on the label,” as she put it. It is to prepare, to understand, and to gracefully begin to arrive at where you are going.

Women in their 60s and 70s today are indeed the godmothers of women who are 40. They are the women who fought for equal pay for equal work. They are the ones who promoted legislation to end gender discrimination. These are the women who changed the rules about sex without marriage, about delaying marriage and children to pursue professional dreams and personal passions. These are not women in rocking chairs. They are still becoming and on their way they have scouted out the territory of the 50s, 60s and beyond.

It doesn’t matter if we “use different moisturizers,” Mary Elizabeth. What matters is that at 40 women will get all that they need to become their personal best if they embrace the best place to find it. And that’s with the women who have gone before and are still here to fight for what matters. They are mature, it’s true. It takes maturity to have patience with women who fear joining with them when they need them most.

We wish Rita Wilson great good luck as she oversees another conversation like the ones we have at Women’s Voices for Change. We believe this is a true sisterhood. It’s one where the younger sisters know the older ones can show them how to drive the car and navigate at the same time. We can even pick up scared stragglers (like some who write for Salon) along the way.