Lots of single women dread Valentine’s Day.  I would like to change that.

For too many single women, Valentine’s Day is a loud reminder that they have no man (or woman, in some cases) to love.  It’s a loud reminder of their sad, lonely lives . . . even though most days their lives are not very sad and not that lonely.  On Valentine’s Day they are.  And the lead-up to the day is fraught with anxiety, because “Whatever will I do” on this day when couples all over the country are celebrating? (Even though that isn’t really happening.)

When I was a kid, I loved Valentine’s Day.  I got such a kick out of giving out Valentine’s Day cards with big red hearts to all the people who made me happy.  I gave them to my parents, my teachers, favorite classmates, my playmates, even the mailman.  Back then, Valentine’s Day was fun, and it was an excuse to tell the people who make you happy how much they mean to you.  Romance had nothing to do with it.  I was 10.

Since I started my blog, The Spinsterlicious Life, I’ve received lots of emails from single women expressing angst about Valentine’s Day.  It seems to be even more anxiety-provoking than New Year’s Eve.  We need to change that.

Just as Christmas gives people a good excuse to (re)connect, Valentine’s Day can be less about romance and become an opportunity to remind people (or tell them for the first time) that you like them . . . enjoy them . . . they matter to you.

When I’m not in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, I like to have a fun dinner with people who make me laugh.  Not a gloomy, woeful dinner with whiny people who are miserable about being single, but interesting and delightful people who happen to be single . . . single for now or for forever.  Whatever.

And this is what I recommend for everybody: Let’s reclaim Valentine’s Day and experience it the way we did when we were kids by injecting some lightheartedness into this day so fraught with emotion. Buy a pack of Valentine’s Day cards and give them to anybody and everybody you want. Get together with good people and enjoy yourself and each other. Let’s make Valentine’s Day about love and luv, not just romance . . . love of great people in your life . . . love of laughter . . . love of life. And you don’t need a date for that!  Plus, it’s fun!

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  • Eleanore Wells February 14, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    I loved making those cards, too, Roz. And you’re definitely invited to next year’s party!

    Reply
  • RozWarren February 11, 2012 at 9:53 am

    GREAT suggestion! This piece brought back strong memories of happily cutting and pasting those construction paper, crayon-decorated valentines for friends and family. It was one of my favorite days of the year back then and it wasn’t about coupling up — it was about love and fun and candy! Thanks so much for writing this, EW (And please invite me to your party next year!)

    Reply