I have always enjoyed sex – as  a single woman and then as a happily married woman.  Over the years, as my love for my husband deepened, making love became more enriching and more fulfilling for both of us.  Then menopause spoiled things.  I started to have hot flashes and sleep poorly; then the final indignity hit, with my libido diminishing and increasingly painful intercourse due to vaginal dryness.

What was a female baby boomer to do?  I talked to my women friends –close and not so close. I discovered that almost every post-menopausal woman I knew  — in America, in England, in France — was experiencing the very same thing.  Some just accepted it.  I, however, was not prepared to.


I was infuriated.  I felt healthy, energetic, strong, satisfied with my life.I loved my husband and yet my body was betraying me and making me feel like a dried up old prune. I was determined to do something to “get my groove back.”  God bless my gynecologist who suggested a course of action:  I used vaginal dilators, took extra vitamin D and used Vagifem.  Using the dilators took a lot of time.

Over the course of several months things began to improve. Gradually, my vagina became less dry and, with the help of a lot of Astroglide, you might even call it moist. I was more lubricated, but penetration was still not easy.

Again, my gynecologist came to the rescue.  She suggested that my husband and I experiment with new positions, and try different lubricants.  It seems an obvious solution, right?  but it wasn’t  to me.  Our lovemaking was not always romantic — it was alternately frustrating and funny, and required a lot of patience, understanding, give-and-take,  and trust.

The first time I had pain-free intercourse was so very satisfying.  To be able to, once again, experience the intimacy and closeness  and pleasure that my husband and I used to share was …. supremely satisfying. 
My message to other women having the same difficulties I did is simple. Talk to your gynecologist and try some of the things that I did.  It is well worth the effort.

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