I have always enjoyed sex – as a single woman and then as a happily married woman. Over the years, as my love for my husband deepened, making love became more enriching and more fulfilling for both of us. Then menopause spoiled things. I started to have hot flashes and sleep poorly; then the final indignity hit, with my libido diminishing and increasingly painful intercourse due to vaginal dryness.
What was a female baby boomer to do? I talked to my women friends –close and not so close. I discovered that almost every post-menopausal woman I knew — in America, in England, in France — was experiencing the very same thing. Some just accepted it. I, however, was not prepared to.
I was infuriated. I felt healthy, energetic, strong, satisfied with my life.I loved my husband and yet my body was betraying me and making me feel like a dried up old prune. I was determined to do something to “get my groove back.” God bless my gynecologist who suggested a course of action: I used vaginal dilators, took extra vitamin D and used Vagifem. Using the dilators took a lot of time.
Over the course of several months things began to improve. Gradually, my vagina became less dry and, with the help of a lot of Astroglide, you might even call it moist. I was more lubricated, but penetration was still not easy.
Again, my gynecologist came to the rescue. She suggested that my husband and I experiment with new positions, and try different lubricants. It seems an obvious solution, right? but it wasn’t to me. Our lovemaking was not always romantic — it was alternately frustrating and funny, and required a lot of patience, understanding, give-and-take, and trust.
The first time I had pain-free intercourse was so very satisfying. To be able to, once again, experience the intimacy and closeness and pleasure that my husband and I used to share was …. supremely satisfying.
My message to other women having the same difficulties I did is simple. Talk to your gynecologist and try some of the things that I did. It is well worth the effort.