Emotional Health · Family & Friends

The Wednesday Five

This year, several of our most popular articles addressed emotional issues within family relationships for which many of our readers who are spouses, partners, parents, and grandparents sought advice.  Here are our five most popular articles in 2016 focused on resolving conflicts and making our family relationships stronger.

 

The Grandma Who Yearns to Say No

“All my friends tell me that I am missing out on the best time of life: grandmotherhood,” a widowed social worker laments. “But I just can’t do it [be the weekend babysitter]. I feel terrible guilt about this problem, but I also feel that I need my weekend time to recover and have some adult fun.”

Dr. Ford advised this grandmother: “Is this because you cannot break away from your lifelong role, and/or you don’t want to disappoint them? You are obviously a responsible person, who spends extra time at work to do things the right way. Your choice of profession involves taking care of others; people who go into the helping professions often are motivated by personality characteristics of generosity and concern for others’ needs. But even with the extra time you put in, you can leave the job at the office and return at night to your “haven.” And because your work requires you to give of yourself in this way—to people whom you describe as having a really hard time—you clearly need this time and space, especially since you did without it for so long.”

Read more here.

 

What Happens When a Man Loses His Sense of Self Along With His Job

Many women of our generation are finding themselves to be breadwinners without planning this. Others, who may have chosen to be employed, are staying in their jobs longer than they would have liked, delaying retirement for financial reasons. And many “accidentally” become the primary or sole earner in the family, which is a very stressful role.

At what point does a situation like this become intolerable? Some women struggle for years trying to come to terms with what to do. On the one hand, you understand and are sympathetic to his dilemma; on the other, you see your life as an endless drudge with no thanks, recognition or gratitude. One approach you might take is to ask yourself if your husband really can choose to act differently. Is he so ashamed or perhaps depressed that he is stuck or stymied?

Read more here.

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