We have underlying beliefs about what it means to be organized (cold), or to skip dessert (deprivation), or to take action immediately (fear), Marilyn Paul, Ph.D., points out in her book "It’s Hard to Make a Difference When You Can’t Find Your Keys." There is an internal state we fight against—an unease—when we try to change our lives. Instead of sitting with the discomfort and trying to face it, we surrender (quit) and call ourselves failures. . . .