Emotional Health · Marriage & Life Partners · Sex & Sexuality

Sex Every Day at 60

We went through the calendar and chose to remove some non-essential busy work that would interfere with our one month of romantic nights.  My husband canceled the Rotary Club men’s dinner night so fast it made my head spin!

I was still a bit anxious that I might not be able to deliver my Valentine’s Day gift to my husband.  But now that I am older and have a bit of wisdom, I have learned to re-frame things that cause me anxiety.  I chose to look at this as an opportunity, not an obligation.  This was an opportunity for me to find out what kind of libido I had, not what the media had told me.  This was an opportunity for me to feel sexy again, as opposed to just being fond of my husband and having sex when everything was perfectly aligned in the planetary system.  This might even be an opportunity for me to get in better shape, since I was going to be highly visible to my sex partner every night for a month. 

So, how did it end?  We did have sex for 28 days or nights in a row last February.  We learned that lots of busy-ness that wasn’t a work obligation wasn’t all that fulfilling when compared with the growing intimacy that we had developed in that month of daily sex.  Now, I’m not telling you that I had sex for the last 365 days after the 2015 famous Valentine gift, but I am letting women 60 and over know that fun and frequent sex in a marriage of many years is a choice.  We now have sex about three or four times a week.  We have both lost weight and go to the gym together.  My friends all want to know if I have had “work done,” since I smile more and objectively look better.  They have also noticed that when my husband and I join our friends for social events, he “only has eyes for me.”  I told my real girlfriends that I look better, feel better, and have a much more fun and interesting marriage because my husband and I decided not to fit the media measurement of what 60 is supposed to look like in bed.  However, I’ve never told anyone before that we had sex every day at 60 for one entire month.  That is our secret.



Book Review: ‘The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality,’ by Rachel Hills

41jGJPUYn1L._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_People consistently overestimate how frequently their peers are having sex by a wide margin. Would our tepid sex lives bother us as much if we knew they were, well, normal? Or if we understood that the idea that one size fits all is, where sex is concerned, a myth?


Sex Talk: Spice It Up! Increasing Desire in a Longstanding Relationship

In the final Sex Talk of the season, Dr. Hilda and Dr. Pat explore ways of bringing intimacy and fun back into the bedroom—and all over the house.


Does Your Sex Life Need an Upgrade? Senior Sex Expert Joan Price Can Help


Joan Price is a cheerleader for everything fun and erotic for those of us who are getting a little long in the tooth. She’s amassed a wealth of nuts-and-bolts information about what does and doesn’t work when it comes to senior shenanigans, and she’s eager to share it.

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  • jim June 23, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    Thanks Dr Pat.
    Yes no doubt those 3 are different. I was merely pointing out that any of those 3 would not work. I have no objection at all to her or any other person objecting to certain things or have idiosyncrasies. I know I do and expect all do. But when a person has no sense of adventure connectedness toward their spouses desires what do you do. We have had 4 different therapists and have new one now.

  • Patricia Yarberry Allen, M.D. June 23, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    Dear Jim,

    There is a difference between lingerie and perfume and introducing the concept of anal sex…

    Perhaps your wife and you might benefit from some couples counseling regarding communication skills and intimacy. It could be very helpful if you could support any small steps toward flirtatious behavior in the bedroom that you could discuss in a safe environment with a therapist. If your wife feels that you have sexual interests that she can never share, it could prevent her from making any effort.

    Just sayin’

    Dr. Pat

  • jim June 23, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    always kills me when I hear of women buying lingerie to intrigue their husbands – the idea would never, never ever, cross my wife’s mind. Yes, regardless of how many times I suggest or imply or outright request it. She also says perfume (which I simply adore) bothers her sense of smell. You can believe I will not suggest anal sex or talking dirty.

  • Andrea February 8, 2016 at 9:22 pm

    How liberating and refreshing and yes SEXY !!! What a turn on for both – making the effort, thinking about what pleases you and your partner and how to keep your 30+yr marriage fun ….. What a great position to be in – no pun intended!!!

  • JM February 8, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    Wow! Wow! Wow! This sounds like a dream come true.

  • Barb Calabrese February 8, 2016 at 10:46 am

    Love this article!!!

  • Mickey February 8, 2016 at 10:27 am

    Sex after 60 and for this woman and her husband, every day, 28 days. Excellent. Thank you, woman, her husband, WFC.