The truth is out: not ‘Sex’ but real estate. As “Sex in the City” author Candace Bushnell explained to the Times of London this week, her new novel delves into what power really means when you face reality:

A few misconceptions about Candace Bushnell: that she is flip, wisecracking, trivial, a high-maintenance materialist princess. Actually she is rather intense and serious, vulnerable, and, most surprisingly, an ass-kicking feminist. Perhaps the TV version of Sex and the City, with its glitzy surfaces, distracted us, along with Bushnell’s own kittenish beauty and man-pleasing glamour. Today she does not disappoint in white Gucci jacket and honey-coloured Chloe flares over a tiny vest, beneath which she is bra-less and boyish. On her feet are vertiginous leopardskin Jimmy Choos in which – endearingly – she struggles to walk. Why there isn’t a spare gram on her tiny frame is explained when we eat: she nibbles through an undressed salad and just half of her small rocket pizza, and I dispatch 90 per cent of our “shared” dessert.

Her new book is about power, money and envy, refracted through the prism of New York real estate. “In London you have blocks of very similar houses. But here, where you live says something about you. Whether you live in a prewar apartment, as opposed to one of the brick buildings from the 1960s, as opposed to a town house, which is very glamorous and expensive.” But the book’s undercurrent is mid-life: its disappointments, compromises and surprising outcrops of joy.

It’s all about your eyes. Science Daily this week had lots of news for aging eyes. First, our antioxidant-rich diet (we know you’re already doing this) can also help prevent macular degeneration, the ailment that often causes blindness in the elderly.  And second, researchers looking into the cause of those baggy eyes had surprising results:

Stock up on fruits and veggies: A new study reveals part of the magic behind a diet rich in antioxidants, showing how artichokes, blueberries and pecans can hold at bay the leading cause of age-related blindness in developed countries.

Researchers at Brigham Young University and Weill Medical College of Cornell University discovered a link between two processes in the retina that, in combination, contribute to a disease called macular degeneration. They found antioxidants disrupt the link and extend the lifetime of irreplaceable photoreceptors and other retinal cells.

Another place to snip the fat: The study, published in the September issue of the peer-reviewed Journal of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, is the first to examine the anatomy of multiple subjects to determine what happens to the lower eyelid with age. It is also the first to measure what happens to the face with age using high-resolution magnetic resonance imaging (MRI).

According to a recent report by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, nearly 241,000 Americans underwent eyelid surgery in 2007, making it one of the top four surgical cosmetic procedures performed.

Sometimes you need not to call: Christine Hassler, 20-something life coach and “Generation Y expert,” was asked by a 57-year old mom whether it was possible for mothers and daughters to be too close. In her advice column for the Huffington Post, Hassler said a gentle but firm ‘Yes.’

Your husband is right – you and your adult daughter need some distance. It’s obvious how much you love each other and it’s a wonderful blessing that you are so close; however, for her sake and yours it’s best to take a step back and see the role your intertwined relationship is playing in both of your lives.

In order to fully mature and develop a sense of self, one needs to make decisions on his or her own. Having mom on speed dial at the ready to answer any question from what to wear to how to deal with a challenge at work prolongs the adultolescence period of one’s life. Your daughter needs to learn how to become more self-reliant and she cannot do that if you are still helping her problem solve. Yes, she of course will want you in her life, but to what extent? This is a time in her life where not only is she navigating the waters of the real world, but she is also getting to know herself, and shaping the adult she wants to be.I frequently see this over-dependence on parents among twenty-somethings….

Changing the dynamic of a relationship is not easy so begin by giving some thought to what role you play in perpetuating this pattern of over-connectedness. Are you always the one to call her first? Do you in your word choice or tone show your disappointment to your daughter when she doesn’t call? Observe your own behavior and begin to look at ways that you can wean yourself off the need to call her.

— Chris L.

Start the conversation

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.