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Dear Diary,

Valentine’s Day is coming up and once again, I am single. Don’t you think my spiritual practice of singleness has been perfected? I’m quite sure I could benefit from being in a relationship. I know it would improve my patience, my compassion, and my tolerance for other people’s nutty habits. It would help me be less arrogant and self-righteous, things I always need to work on. I could polish my communication skills, and practice not saving a person who doesn’t need to be saved, if you know what I mean.

You may not be aware of the latest studies, since you are only a diary. They show that people in relationships have lower blood pressure because they’re touched more often. Of course, sometimes they have really high blood pressure from being furious at their partner, but that doesn’t last very long. People, especially the ones my age, get more exercise in relationships, and not just from having lots of sex. They walk more, as they have to move from room to room in order to hear what their loved one is saying from the couch. They get a good stretch from picking up dropped items off the floor, and increased upper body strength from hauling two people’s laundry to the washing machine.

 As part of a couple, dietary habits improve dramatically. I, for one, would not want anyone to see me eating crackers and cheese for dinner while standing at the kitchen counter. Just to save face I’d buy more vegetables and actually prepare and eat them. And you know those three boxes of After Eight mints in my larder, which I stock-pile because the market doesn’t always have them? They would be history.

My friend Kate says most people get in relationships because of dumb luck or low standards. I don’t know about the luck part, but I try hard not to be dumb, so that makes sense. And I’m afraid I do have fairly high standards. For one thing, I’m looking for a man, and that cuts out more than half the population. I’m looking for someone who likes to talk, which cuts out another third or so. My partner will have to be old enough to know the names of all four Beatles. Since I’m incredibly famous within a 12-mile radius of my house, he’s also going to have to not mind too much when people come up to me on the street and say, “Oh, you’re the poet!”

Other than that, I’m pretty happy to take pot luck. I’m not such a snob about bad grammar as you would think, and I don’t have special requirements that Mr. Wonderful  know how to salsa dance or make Oysters Rockefeller.

There is one thing, though. I’m looking for a guy who wants to be with me and nobody else. The modern term for this, Dear Diary, in case you haven’t heard, is Mollyamory.

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More from our Valentine’s Day Series

The Power of Young Love

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Richard’s math class was the hour before mine; we shared the same room as well as the same instructor. One Valentine’s Day I found a note in my locker directing me to look out the window of the math class, where I would find my Valentine gift.

An October Valentine

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I always suspected that Fred’s father thought we were too young and too serious, since we had made plans to marry and depart for Africa as missionaries as soon as we grew up.

Valentine’s Day: An Intense and Tender Connection

Grace and Richie at a local dance.By Grace Graupe-Pillard
First love is the most magical, deliciously exquisite, and seductive period of one’s life, when the world actually becomes luminous without the need of the sun or the moon.

 

Sex Every Day at 60

By Women’s Voices for Change4073085337_1b3bdc4335_z
I gave my husband a very unusual Valentine’s Day gift last year. I gave him . . . sex every day for a month.

 

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  • Carol Hoorn February 13, 2016 at 11:27 pm

    I love this Molly. When this man appears at your door, knocking politely, and petting all five cats each and every time they brush
    his ankles, and later, if and when they may jump into his lap; I would hope he will share equally in all labors, boring and routine, as well as pleasurable and extraordinary. Some day, he will come along, the man who shows Mollyamory to our precious Molly.

    Reply
  • Molly Fisk February 13, 2016 at 1:02 pm

    Happy Valentine’s Day Eve, Mickey! Thanks for your kind words. xo

    Reply
  • Mickey February 13, 2016 at 10:20 am

    Yes, Mollyamory. Patience, compassion, and tolerance. Plus more walking and fewer After Eight mints. Thank you, Molly. You are not only the ‘poet’, but you are also marvelous. More thanks from sunny Tucson.

    Reply