We’ve heard from more than a few women who want to know why we keep talking about sex, about “keeping that spark alive.” Our Dr. Pat and Dr. Hilda weigh in.
In their final conversation in this round of Sex Talk, Dr. Hilda and Dr. Pat talk about what it takes to keep a long-term relationship—straight or gay—sexually energized, and why it’s worth it.
Earlier in this series, Dr. Hilda and Dr. Pat talked about why orgasms are good for physical and emotional health. Here, the conversation turns to vaginal health and how to make sure that the terrific orgasms keep coming.
"Your story," Dr. Hilda writes to Marcia, "is one that I hear almost every day. It is not easy to take care of a home and two very busy adolescents. At the end of the day, sex can begin to feel like one more chore that you need to do for someone else."
What can you do? First, be patient, understanding, and loving. He is hurting. Pressuring him to perform sexually will only make him feel like more of a failure as a man and push him farther away. (Aren’t “real men” supposed to be ready to have sex every hour of every day?) Let him know that you understand his feelings and that you are there for him.
The truth is that we can be better at managing everything else if we recharge our batteries with time for sexual intimacy. The “use it or lose it” mantra does apply here. At 40, put your sex life on the schedule and keep it there.
"Some people will judge you harshly for even thinking about having an affair. I will not. A 52-year-old woman has the right to decide how to run her own life. Seeking couples therapy from a sex and marital therapist might help you make a well-informed decision."
Now we are 6, and our site, "Women's Voices for Change" has broadened its vision beyond its original mission—debunking the universal myths about menopause—to celebrating the power and wisdom of women in the second half of life.
2012 is not the year to sit on the sidelines and let someone else decide the fate of our country, and the fate of women. Our voices must and will be heard.
More was once "The Magazine for Women Over 40." Now, they have has a new tagline. They're making a mistake, I think.
