What’s the new “girl’s best friend?” The Rabbit. I don’t mean the soft fluffy critter that one associates with colorfully decorated eggs and chocolates in the spring, but the one at the right: a powerful vibrating, rotating instrument of pleasure.

Personally, I think that every woman should own at least one sex toy, especially if she is over 40.

Sexual frequency and satisfaction can decrease as we age, often due to the lack of a suitable partner or, if we have a male partner, his sexual dysfunctions. That’s where a treasure trove of sex toys can change your life, whether you choose to use them for your own private pleasuring or to enhance sex play with your partner.  Sex toys can help you take charge of your sex life as only a woman over 40 can. Toys can help keep the your vagina healthy and moist during those dry spells when you don’t have a sex partner. In fact, I recommend that all of my patients of a certain age who are not having sex regularly use a dildo or Rabbit vibrator to keep the blood flowing and to avoid thinning and atrophy of the vagina. Think of it as insurance against sexual pain in the future when, hopefully, you do have a partner.

Adding toys to sex play with your partner can add spice and increase pleasure for both of you. I think of a sex toy as a beautiful accessory. Imagine a gorgeous diamond brooch, perhaps, that you add to your favorite outfit. The outfit looks good on its own, but the brooch really makes it pop!

S tarting your toy collection can be as simple as taking a cyber-field trip to a female-centered adult toy site, such as Babeland or Eve’s Garden. Start with something small and gentle, like the finger vibe (left)  or the bullet (right). Slowly work your way up to more adventurous gadgets, and always use lots of lube. And while you’re there, do browse the toys for boys. They make great stocking stuffers!

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  • Joan Price November 22, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    I agree about the importance of sex toys as we get older and need more stimulation. It’s also helpful to read reviews. I review sex toys frequently on my blog about sex & aging, http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com. See the “sex toy” label at the right — I’ve reviewed dozens of them, always with a senior perspective.

    Joan Price

  • Lisa McCarthy November 21, 2010 at 9:56 am

    LOVE the article by Dr. Hilda–short, informative, well written!!!