Inspired by Sarah Palin’s recent rewrite of American history, in which she explained that the purpose of Paul Revere’s famous ride was to “warn the British … that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms,” we present the Tea Party American Revisionist History Pop Quiz. Put on your Tea Party hat and see if you can complete these famous historical quotes:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of ________ .”
a. hand guns
b. lower taxes
c. a smaller government

“Ask not what your country can do for you — ask ________ .”
a. for lots of guns
b. for lower taxes
c. for a smaller government

President John F. Kennedy delivering his inaugural address.

“Give me liberty or give me ________ .”
a. an Uzi
b. lower taxes
c. a smaller government

“Don’t fire until you see ________ .”
a. a tax cut
b. a smaller government
c. more handguns

“The only thing we have to fear is ________ .”
a. gun control
b. big government
c. higher taxes

“Speak softly and carry ________ .”
a. an M-16
b. a sign protesting big government
c. a whopping tax refund

“A house divided against itself ________ .”
a. needs a spiffy new arsenal
b. needs a tax break
c. needs a smaller government

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by ________ .”

Crowds pack the Washington Mall for the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech.

a. the caliber of their firearms
b. the size of their tax refund
c. how little their government does for them

“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this ________ !”
a. tax code
b. federal system
c. gun control law

“Go west, young man, and ________ .”
a. escape big government
b. fight for lower taxes
c. take along lots of guns

“I only regret that I have but one life to give for ________ .”
a. the right to bear arms
b. lower taxes
c. a smaller government

“O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave, o’er the land of the free and the home of the ________ ?”
a. legal assault rifle
b. untaxed corporation
c. downsized federal government

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  • Jody Gillen-Worden July 5, 2011 at 11:34 am

    HA!!!! I loved it.

    Reply
  • T.R King July 4, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    Well Ladies, as a fellow Sarah Palin Comedy Roadshow follower all I can say is ” that all men/women who believe what The Tea Party believes are created equal!”

    Reply