July 9, 2011, is the big day – my stepson, Russell, is getting married.  The plans have been in the works for more than a year, with Russell and his fiancée, Chanda, doing all the planning. All I really have had to think about is who of my family and friends will be invited and attend and what I will wear. And, not surprisingly, what to wear has taken precedence.

Chanda and Russell have a grey color story for the wedding, which Russ has told me about for a while implying that he would like me to follow it.  He also informed me that his mom and future mother-in-law were going to wear gowns. Hmm?? A gown, for a Saturday night wedding that isn’t black tie? Not being able to show off my legs – which my husband always tells me is one of my best features? A color that I can’t choose; what if it isn’t my most flattering?  Don’t think I can conform, but don’t want to be the “difficult” stepmother.

Truth is what can I say?  I am always obsessed with what I will wear; a wedding, a bat mitzvah, graduation, etc., I always want to look just so. Are there different rules on what I should wear and not wear to this wedding? Should it matter that I am the stepmother and not birth mother?? Don’t have a manual for this one.

Russ also said he would love me to walk down the aisle with his mother’s fiancée (they have been engaged forever – another blog perhaps).  Should we match? I even said that I don’t have to walk down the aisle, even though it really is a very nice gesture, for which I am touched. Now do I have to think about how high my heels are? Whether I can walk smoothly or not? Will more people be paying attention to me now?  Under other circumstances I most surely would want the attention.

I was told by some that I am not supposed to upstage the bride’s mom or the groom’s mom, can’t promise because it might just come naturally, again so my husband has said.  And my dress, which I found at Neiman’s and special-ordered from Germany, is cocktail length and fitted. It shows my legs and arms (another one of my features of which I am proud) and actually is in the grey color story. Shoes I am still on the lookout for because, no surprise here, they are another one of my obsessions and they need to be amazing. Not to mention the perfect nail color for my hands and feet.

Will I pass everyone’s expectation?  I’ll let you all know how it goes – that’s if my dress makes it here on time.