Lifestyle

Doctor My Eyes: The Ultimate Cataract-Surgery Mix Tape

With age comes wisdom. And, frequently, cataracts. (By age 80, more than half of all Americans either have a cataract or have had cataract surgery.) I’m having cataract surgery next week. Hoping to have a little fun with this particular rite of passage, I put out a call to my Facebook friends: 

 

“What songs should I put on my Cataract Surgery Mix Tape?”

jackson-browne-with-david-crosby-and-graham-nash-doctor-my-eyes-asylum-1

Within seconds, I had my first response:    

The First Cut Is the Deepest.

“Good one!” I responded, trying not to wince.

Then the next suggestion appeared. 

Doctor My Eyes. 

“Perfect!“ I replied. 

Blinded By the Light!” suggested a third.  “Because that’s what driving at night with cataracts is like.” 

Other titles soon followed:   

Private Eyes.

Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.

She Blinded Me with Science. 

My friends, many of whom have had cataract surgery themselves, offered encouragement and support along with their song suggestions.  

“Cataract surgery is a piece of cake! And you’ll be able to throw away your bifocals.” 

“The surgery is quick and you won’t feel a thing.” 

“It was amazing to have clear vision after wearing glasses for 50 years!’

Meanwhile, song suggestions were coming in fast and furious.   

I’ll Be Seeing You. 

See You in September.

I’m Looking Through You.

I’d Rather Go Blind. 

“Anything by the Black-Eyed Peas!”

And a classical music fan suggested Then Shall the Eyes of the Blind Be Opened, from Handel’s Messiah.

“From the 28,675 songs in my eyetunes—sorry, iTtunes—Library,” posted my friend Bill,  “I came up with more than 460 appropriate songs.” Rather then listing them all, he offered to burn me a CD. (Now THERE’S a pal.)   

And the hits just kept on coming:    

I Saw the Light.

Miss Me Blind.

Eyes of the World.

Suite: Judy Blue Eyes. 

So did the encouragement: 

“Cataract surgery is a total non-event. I drove my mom to the clinic to have it done, and we went out to lunch afterwards.“  

“Like most unpleasant events, the expectation is worse than the reality.”

“Just breathe. Your eyes will be in good hands. “

One friend’s song titles were posted in a Question and Answer Format. 

Q: What’s the best song to sing to your doctor before cataract surgery?

A: I Only Have Eyes For You. 

Q: Once the procedure starts, where will your ophthalmologist be?

A: In Your Eyes. 

Q: What will you have once you’re recovered?

A: Bright Eyes!

Friends posted several other post-recovery songs:       

I Can See Clearly Now. 

I Can See for Miles and Miles.

Here Comes the Sun. 

And more encouraging words:

“You’ll be able to open your eyes in the morning and see clearly!” 

“I went from walking into walls to 20/20. Priceless.” 

“Good luck! You’ll recover quickly. But you can still laugh and dance (and sleep and nap) while you’re out of focus.“   

And so I will . . . With a Little Help From My Friends.  

 

Join the conversation

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • ellensue spicer-jacobson October 14, 2014 at 7:03 am

    Terrific! Love all the titles. And how about one pair of free lenses after surgery? I had each eye done in a different calendar year since I got 2 freebies. And I can read without any glasses at all!

    Reply
  • Kelly October 13, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    Hilarious!

    Reply
  • hillsmom October 12, 2014 at 10:13 am

    Congratulations! Doesn’t everything look much brighter now? Be sure to follow your post op procedures…it’s not for long. Thanks for the laughs. Best…

    Reply
  • Suzanne Fluhr October 12, 2014 at 4:58 am

    Many people have play lists for running/jogging/walking, but you’ve inspired me to come up with them for other endeavors–like for the 17 hour plane flight scheduled for Tuesday.

    Reply
  • Roz Warren October 11, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    Leslie, I am working on “Fun With Cataract Surgery” right now. Thanks for the encouragement.

    Reply
  • Leslie in Oregon October 11, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    I too have heard nothing but very encouraging comments from people who have had this surgery, the most frequent having been, “I wish I had done it years ago.” Please do at least one of your inimitable pieces for WVFC about the before, during and after of this surgery. I expect that my ophthamologist will recommend it to me during my November exam, and I want your humor (and good advice) at the ready! Best wishes!

    Reply
  • Ruth Curran October 11, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    Here’s to seeing more crisply and clearly! Love that you inject that uniquely “Roz-humor” into everything you write! Sending you good thoughts of rapid, pain-free healing!

    Reply
  • Mickey October 11, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Oh, Roz! (May I call you ‘Roz’?!) I love your stuff! I don’t like driving at night because the headlights of other cars blind me and I can’t see the road! I drive on the streets that have street lights. I guess this surgery is closer in my future than I like to think. Thank you so much for this lovely, light hearted piece.

    Reply
  • Karen D. Austin October 11, 2014 at 10:54 am

    This is a great idea! A little music to help reduce the stress and distract the patient from worry. Thanks for the great list of songs. Sharing!

    Reply
  • Helene Cohen Bludman October 11, 2014 at 7:51 am

    Great suggestions. Tucking this away for my turn which can’t be too far down the road.

    Reply
  • Mister Wonderful October 11, 2014 at 7:43 am

    Wonderful!

    Reply