Damn All the Experts, Full Speed Ahead!


Replace this teacher with a bartender!

The 2016 Presidential race is not the first to embrace the concept of replacing professionals (i.e., Washington insiders) with people devoid of experience.  Back in the mid ’70s, Libyan dictator Gaddafi issued a decree demanding that all professionals, including college professors, be replaced by farmers, and vice versa.

Rather than having a panic attack over the very real possibility of putting the nuclear button in the hand of a political novice who never served in elective office, practiced law, or served in the military, let’s take a deep breath and look at the other ways to put experienced professionals where they belong. In the unemployment line!

If you’re fed up with your current car mechanic, why not replace him with a florist? He won’t know much about transmissions, but he will send you a stunning bouquet when your Prius dies.

And aren’t you sick and tired of going to medical specialists who make you sit in a reception room for forty-five minutes reading back issues of Yachting World? Why trust your gall bladder to a Board Certified surgeon when you can have it removed in a jiffy by a manicurist?

Anyone who has planned a wedding knows that professional caterers take advantage. Don’t go that route! The next time you need to entertain business associates or celebrate a special event, forget about lollipop lamb chops and chocolate fountains.  Ask a local Girl Scout troop to provide a spread. So what if it turns out to be peanut butter and jelly? While you’re at it, fire the CPA who does your taxes and ask your gardener to do them. It doesn’t matter if his English is rusty. This will be a learning experience for both of you! Read More »

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  • Sybil Terres Gilmar March 8, 2016 at 3:22 pm

    I mean people can claim they want to be president all they want if they’re unqualified. Most of those people wind up in some psychiatric facility. What worries me is all the people that believe the would be wanna bes. What happened to our education system which was supposed to teach truth from fiction, reason from delusion? Doesn’t appear to be evident in today’s political arena. That’s what worries me even more that the unqualified spouting qualifications.

  • Anne Louise Bannon March 8, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    Perfect. Just perfect. Add the lack of experience, a complete lack of diplomacy, and we might as well have the North Koreans running the country!

  • Jane Brydon March 8, 2016 at 8:34 am

    A dog training friend of mine told me her lawn man told her he could no longer cut her lawn. He was now going to be a dog trainer. How interesting, my friend said. Did you go to school for this or study with a certified professional dog trainer. No. He watched Cesar Milan and felt totally qualified to offer his services. Donald knows politicians, which obviously makes him qualified to be president.

  • roz warren March 7, 2016 at 8:53 pm

    The Killing Fields of Cambodia have never come to my mind in response to a humor piece. But my pal Suzanne is both a lawyer and a Zentangle whiz, so her mind is clearly out of the ordinary. Meanwhile, becoming an astronaut seems like a reasonable response to the notion of President Trump.

  • Suzanne Fluhr March 7, 2016 at 6:00 pm

    This would be hilarious if we weren’t possibly really going to find out if DT will have his finger on the button. I’m a recovering lawyer, so by all means, let’s turn the practice of law over to pastry chefs. Why should lawyers have to have all the GERD? As you point out, this idea has been tried—the Cultural Revolution in the People’s Republic of China and the Killing Fields of Cambodia spring instantly to mind.

  • Mickey March 7, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Stacia, you are wonderful! What a great idea! I must send your comment about the car mechanic to my own! No, he’s a Tea Partyer and wouldn’t understand. But he is an excellent mechanic, his protests to the contrary that he’s not perfect. Sigh, and thank you so much. I’ve put the nation and its politics and those who are voting on a prayer list. God bless us all and when we are really biting our nails, we can read your essay for a good laugh.