SEPTEMBER 23, 2014 Now that I’ve let my New York Times subscription lapse, I get most of my news online. When I logged on this morning, this headline caught my eye:

Woman Gets Third Boob Implanted, Wants to Be “Unattractive to Men.”

Apparently, one Jasmine Tridevil, a massage therapist from Tampa, Florida, was claiming that she’d just spent $20,000 to get a third breast implanted between the two she already had. Why? She was fed up with dating, she claims, and did it so that guys would find her unattractive.

The good news? She had to contact 50 docs before she found a surgeon willing to give her that extra boob. (Medical ethics! Alive and well! Who knew?)

But she ultimately did find a doc to do the deed.

Then she covered up, went home, and quietly lived happily ever after? Not a chance! Instead, she publicized what she’d done, complete with a photo of herself in a low-cut top that all three boobs are spilling out of.

Yeah, that’s exactly how to become uninteresting to guys. Flood the Internet with revealing photos that are all about your breasts!

As a mild-mannered 60-year old librarian, I could have given Tridevil some advice about getting men to ignore you. Stop leading with your cleavage! Dress modestly. Highlight your mind, not your body. (You will instantly become invisible to all but the best kind of guy.)

My favorite part of stories like this? The reader comments:

She thinks she has a hard time finding bras that fit now? Just wait!

Too bad she didn’t shop for a brain implant.

Someone should have told her that less is more.

She did this to become unattractive to men? She obviously knows very little about men.

She’d rather be attractive to freaks?

If tits were brains she’d be Einstein. But they’re not.

Why not put one on your nose? That would be novel.

If God had wanted women to have three breasts, he would have made men with three hands.

 Um, yeah. What? No.

She wants to be unattractive? Mission accomplished!

Well you’ve had your 5 minutes of fame. Now what, hon?

So glad you asked, Commenter! Tridevil revealed in a radio interview that her “biggest dream” is to have an MTV reality show. Is her family on board? “My mom won’t talk to me,” she says.  “She won’t let my sister talk to me. My dad . . . is kind of ashamed of me . . .”

Terrific! A freaked-out family that doesn’t talk to you plays much better on reality TV than a sane, supportive and loving one.

I, of course was brainstorming a show this dimwit could star in— “Who Wants to Be in Therapy?”

Start with the three-breasted lady. Add a couple of Kardashians and those NFL players who keep getting away with beating their loved ones. Include a surgeon who’ll do anything for a buck. Top it off with a few rabidly anti-gay politicians caught cruising local bathrooms for gay sex. Then throw in a top-notch psychotherapist. I might even watch that.

Did the whole thing turn out to be a big fat hoax? Well, what do you think? Snopes, the myth-busting website, got on the story and revealed that  “Jasmine Tridevil” appeared to be a domain name owned by one Alisha Jasmine Hessler, a Florida massage therapist whose website proclaimed her to be a “Provider of Internet Hoaxes since 2014.” Not only that, Hessler had recently filed a stolen baggage complaint at Tampa International Airport that listed a ‘3 breast prosthesis’ among the items lost! (Nor, when questioned, could she produce a doctor who’d back up her story.)

Busted!

Tridevil, it seems, is not a 3-breasted lady after all—only a two-breasted liar who wants her own TV show.

The sad thing is, she’ll probably get it.

As for me? I’m re-subscribing to The Times.

JASMINE_TRIDEVIL_3048540bJasmine Tridevil. A chest shot of the three-breasted lady? Too gross for comfort. Photo: Facebook

 

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  • Kelly September 30, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    that’s pretty creepy!

    Reply
  • Bodynsoil September 29, 2014 at 9:02 am

    I love how her 15 minutes of fame could land her jail time.. karma..

    Reply
  • Lois Alter Mark September 28, 2014 at 2:58 am

    Imagine how great the world could be if we all used our time and energy more productively than following stories like the ridiculous one this woman created. No words for how stupid our society has become. We have become boobs ourselves.

    Reply
  • Lisa @ Grandma's Briefs September 27, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    How freakin’ nuts has our society become? Snopes saves the day, again. It’s unfortunate we even have to check Snopes, but with all the dopes out and about, it’s clearly necessary. Geez…

    Reply
  • Janie Emaus September 27, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    I saw this story and wondered WTF? There is something radically wrong with this woman.

    Reply
  • Elin Stebbins Waldal September 27, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    It seems to me Yahoo “news” et al, are like one big Enquirer Magazine now. Not really the reflection of society that gives one much hope…

    Reply
  • Cathy Chester September 27, 2014 at 11:48 am

    This is disgusting and says a lot about societal dictates as far as woman and dating and morals are concerned. There is so much else at stake in this story, but I’m really disgusted by it so that’s all for now. Yuck. Ugh. Ew.

    Reply
  • hillsmom September 27, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Dear Roz, Thanks for the explanation, and also for the good “plug” for Snopes. I hope we’ve finally heard enough from this nut case.

    Reply
  • Carol Cassara September 27, 2014 at 9:25 am

    This is what has become of our society…a crazy quest for fame by crazy people like this. Florida. I don’t miss it one bit.

    Reply