Top 10 Reasons I Love My French Girlfriends

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There's a reason why the 1983 "Entre Nous" is such a classic.

How many times have we heard that it takes forever to construct deep, lasting friendships with Frenchwomen? And then, the theory goes, it takes years to be invited into their homes, into their inner circle, and into their confidence.

Once again I’ve been lucky. More than 25 years ago I moved to France. It took considerably less than one year for my first two French friends and me to realize that we were looking at long-term engagement. They are among the best friends I have ever had, anywhere. They’re loyal, gracious, and generous in every way. Truthfully, I don’t know what I would do without them.

Sometimes Frenchwomen get a bad rap for their flirtatious ways, but in my experience with my best friends and acquaintances, flirting is a charming, harmless game they play at cocktail and dinner parties; it’s part of their vast and varied repertoire. Even I know how to flirt like a Frenchwoman, and have experienced delightful evenings as a result of participating in this lively cultural tradition. Then there are all those other things they do so well— dressing with elegance and creativity, whipping up a gourmet meal in 20 minutes, keeping their sometimes difficult husbands content, decorating their homes with an eye to warmth and style—things we reputedly do less well, or not at all.

I’m the first to admit that my two best friends do many, many things better than I do, but we’re not in competition. We laugh together, commiserate ensemble, share secrets and gossip. Oh, how we gossip! And we’re always ready to pop open a bottle of Champagne whenever a circumstance—good or bad—calls for some bubbles. Or for absolutely no good reason . . . just because.

As you know by now, for the most part I admire Frenchwomen as a species, but I thought I would share with you specifically why my two copines are so special.

TOP 10 Reasons I Love My Copines

1. They know how to be reasonable.

2. They know how to be extravagant.

3.  They’re super/hyper well-organized. (Jealousy enters into my admiration here.) Anne-Françoise, wife, mother of six, hostess extraordinaire, interior decorator, and proprietress of three homes, has often said she cannot survive without being highly organized; otherwise her life would be a nightmare. One of my favorite pastimes, in which she allows me to indulge, is to throw open her closets, cupboards, and, the most fun of all, her linen armoires. Everything is arranged—and beautifully labeled—bedroom-by-bedroom, bathroom-by-bathroom, all color-coordinated, with sachets nestled amongst the sheets and towels. Picture-perfect—literally—and smelling like a field of  fresh lavender.

4. They are frugal and generous. They spend wisely and give with generosity, be it of their time or with thoughtful gifts. Edith, for example, often discovers great little beauty products and buys one for herself and another for me. I do the same.

5. They know how to relativize problems. (It appears that “relativize” is not a word, but I make up words all the time, and I think this works nicely.) My theory is that they come from an old culture, and thus realize that there is only so much one human being can control in this life: A problem is a problem, not the end of the world. That’s the ying and yang of things. Deal with the tough situation as best you can—there will be more, it’s normal, but there will also be joy and pleasure that we can control. Move on. Nobody promised us a rose garden 365 days of the year.

6. Once a friend, always a friend. Frenchwomen share their secrets—from beauty creams, hair stylists, and dermatologists to their heartaches, joy, and depressions.

7. They accept, forgive, and move on. Unless someone hurts them out of pure cruelty, they somehow find an explanation on the route to forgiveness. I often find this amazing. My friends seem to have an infinite capacity for tolerance and forgiveness. I’ve learned a great deal from them about how to put human foibles into a larger perspective.

8. They don’t waste time. They make time for what’s important, forget what isn’t. They are always there for a friend. They know how to say non with a smile, but firmly. How else could they accomplish everything they do in a day?

9. I mention this often when praising my girlfriends, but it’s true, and at the same time liberating. They are disciplined. They don’t eat too much, drink too much, talk too much, wear too much makeup, or care too much about what others think of them. They have impeccably good manners on all occasions, which is another form of kindness.

10. They are fundamentally kind and—quelle chance pour moi (what good luck for me)—my two best friends are hilarious. We’ve been known to cry from laughing—even before the Champagne.

Tish Jett is a writer and editor. She has been an editor at “American Elle,” Midwest Bureau Chief for “Women's Wear Daily” and “W,” and Style Editor for the “International Herald Tribune”. More than 20 years ago, she moved to France for work, and stayed for love. Her blog is A Femme d'Un Certain Age; she muses about style on her similarly titled Facebook page.