Ro’s Recipes: In Praise of Mothers, Nuns, and Toffee Pudding

“It was idyllic, really—my boarding school, in a Georgian mansion, with fields, orchards, and farmland attached.”

Our long-time contributor Ro Howe, chef/owner of Barraud Caterers, in New York City, had a grim, dour mom. Happily, she acquired several second mothers: the stern but benign Benedictine nuns at her boarding school. She delighted in their sustaining comfort food. Here, in fond memory of the nuns-her-mothers, is a recipe for a real, and comforting, English pudding.—Ed.

I wish I could declare that I learned how to cook trailing apron strings at my mother’s knee, but my poor, benighted mama couldn’t boil water. (Somehow, though, she mastered how to steam vegetables to khaki death.) It wasn’t because she was unintelligent or inept: she was a bright spark right up to her death at 84. Unfortunately she carried in her all the rigorous blight of the authoritarian, stern, red-headed Yorkshireman who was her father. She learned to be jolly in company, but reverted to the grim dourness of resentment in the privacy of the family.

So it was a jolly good thing that, because of our colonial British circumstances—I was born in India—I was sent (at the grand old age of 4) to a strict, but quite benign, private English boarding school for most of my childhood. There I was under the care of Benedictine nuns, who were in those days addressed as “Mother.”

The school, on the grounds of one of Queen Victoria’s Ladies-in-Waiting residences, was a beautiful large Georgian mansion with fields, orchards, and farmland attached. As young children we roamed the pastures where cows chewed and lowed and chewed some more; played hide and seek and scampered in the poultry yard among chickens and ducks; and talked to the pigs in the pen. In the summer we picked the fruits and vegetables that would become our meals. It was all very idyllic and far-away-magical, in retrospect. The food we were served was simple British everything, including bread procured and made in the kitchens: barely seasoned but wholesome.

It was living with the nun mothers that showed me the work that went into the process of bringing food from farm to table. I met the cows, ducks, chickens, and pigs, so I really knew whence my simple, sustaining food came from. I didn’t realize at the time how important that was, but certainly now I do. This knowledge built in me an incipient respect for the environment and all that grows upon and within it. What a good place to start any culinary training!

As a paean to the Benedictine Mothers of my youth, I give you a recipe for a typical English “pudding” that was healthy and filled our tummies very happily when we were children. This should bring some American joy to all your moms out there!

On the left, sticky toffee banana bread pudding with bourbon crème fraîche. 

Sticky Toffee Banana Bread Pudding with Bourbon Crème Fraîche

Let’s be clear: This is not an American pudding. The term pudding derives from the fact that the British made many cakey things in ovenproof metal “pudding basins.” These puddings included Sussex Pond (lemon), Summer (berries), and Spotted Dick (raisins and currants). Here is another simple-to-make, very typical English winter “nursery” pudding—homey, delicious, and satisfying enough for the child in all adults too. This is what’s for after dinner when it’s cold out!

Yield: 16 portions

Special Equipment: Standing electric mixer, wooden skewer, 4- to 6-ounce ramekins

INGREDIENTS:

Pudding Mix:

3 ¼ cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon freshly scraped nutmeg

2 teaspoons baking powder

½ teaspoon kosher salt

3 ½ cups coarsely chopped ripe bananas

 ½ # sweet butter

1 2/3 cups granulated sugar

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Toffee Sauce:

2 cups toffee bits

½ cup heavy cream

1 tablespoon dark rum

¼ teaspoon vanilla extract

Bourbon Crème Fraîche:

2 cups crème fraîche, whipped

1 tablespoon good quality bourbon

Method:

For the pudding, combine all dry ingredients and divide into three containers.

Divide chopped bananas into three containers.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream the butter. Add sugar and mix until smooth. With the mixer running, add the eggs and vanilla extract.

Add flour and bananas in six alternating batches.

Pour the mixture into well-buttered and floured 4- to 6-ounce ramekins

Bake on a sheet tray at 350 degrees for 20 minutes, until set.

For the toffee sauce, gently heat the toffee, rum, cream, and vanilla extract till melted and smooth.

Using a wooden skewer, poke holes all the way down into the cooked puddings. In careful stages pour the warm toffee sauce over the puddings till it is all absorbed.

For the crème fraîche, combine the bourbon and crème and whip until softly set. Keep chilled.

To serve, cover and gently re-heat the puddings until they are warmed through. Serve with chilled crème fraîche.

A Chef Reviews “The Unofficial ‘Mad Men’ Cookbook”

We wondered how our favorite chef-writer, Ro Howe—chef-owner of Barraud Caterers, Ltd., in New York City—would view this new collection of authentic Mad Men–era recipes. “A true abomination,” she calls the brown sauce in a 1960s White House recipe for Beef Wellington. But to our surprise, she found the book “serious fun.” —Ed. 

The cover says it all, with its image of a classic 4- to 5-ounce martini, straight up, with two olives. This is The Unofficial Mad Men Cookbook: Inside the Kitchens, Bars, and Restaurants of Mad Men, by Judy Gelman and Peter Zheutlin (BenBella Books, Inc., $11.32). And it turns out to be a delightful evocation of nostalgia-Americana—like the television series itself, which uses food/dining/drinking as cultural props that highlight the ambiance and mores of America in the sixties.

Like a normal cookery book, The Unofficial Mad Men Cookbook is divided into useful sections. First (and foremost!) come drinks. Then come apps, salads, mains, and desserts—recipes gleaned from the bars, restaurants, magazines, and cookbooks of the early sixties era. All of these sources were celebrating the first blush of flush after the relative deprivations of the decade and a half after WW II. Trade, commerce, and their important partner, advertising, were the new battlefields. All of them required entertaining and networking, so corporate America rose to the occasion by having meetings in the natural gathering-places: bars, restaurants, clubs, and private homes.

Mad Men has done a wonderful job of spotlighting the erstwhile hot watering holes and dining establishments (some still extant), and this book presents their recipes: the could-not-be-omitted Oak Bar’s Manhattan; Grand Central Oyster Bar’s Oysters Rockefeller; Keens Caesar Salad. And, cleverly knitting the fictional characters into the skein of the book, it gives us Jerry’s Deviled Eggs; Betty’s Turkey Tetrazzini; Kitty’s Pineapple Upside Down Cake, all adopted from contemporary sources.

It is interesting to note that Americans still eat in the consecutive style epitomized in this era by starting with a salad—the vinegar dressings of which totally annul the grace of wine. Salads still frequently began meals, whereas Europeans eat salad as a palate cleanser after the main course. America came very late to having wine with meals as a matter of course, perhaps because we initiated the cocktail culture. Have you tried having three high-octane cocktails before dinner and then drinking most of a bottle of wine, and following that with a cognac digestif—and did you live to remember it, or not? My point, precisely.

The cocktails are classic and fun. The food recipes are historical hand-me-downs of culinary Americana like Spaghetti and Meatballs with Marinara Sauce and adaptations from classic French and other newfangled “foreign” cuisines: I am sure that Sardi’s Steak Tartare is indeed the restaurant’s genuine recipe, but any serious French bistro would not present the tartare already mixed! French food with un accent Américain! Quelle horreur!! The 1962 gazpacho has the bread served as croutons sprinkled on top, not the authentic mashing of soaked bread with good olive oil to create the emulsion essential to a true gazpacho of any type.

And shall we speak of the industrial boxtop butchers and the food abominators? There are, thankfully, only one or two, like the ubiquitous “add sour cream and stir in packaged dry onion soup mix” that Lipton dubbed California Dip, tasting of chemicals and with enough sodium to pack a heart attack. The recipe for the White House’s Beef Wellington is fine in itself, but the brown sauce accompanying it clearly is a donation from the recipe file of a “chef” who never set foot inside a kitchen and doesn’t have the first clue about constructing the good jus reduction with demi-glace sauce that the original recipes pleads for. A true abomination—thankfully, the only one I found.

Photo: Serious Eats.com

The recipes, put together with canned bravado and boxtops, indicate the period’s culinary dearth. However, where recipes from scratch are cited, the ingredients used are fresh and appealing, not manufactured. My favorite drink recipe? The Stork Club Cocktail (above left) with gin, Triple Sec, OJ, lime juice, and Angostura. And food? Definitely Lutèce’s Shrimp in Escargot Butter (above right).  They both wear their age well, and are as valid now as they were when Don Draper entertained the Schillings and the Barretts.

I’m left with “How serious is the book?” In culinary terms, not very—but that alone reflects the period accurately. The introductions to each recipe are what make this book for me. The serious fun comes from the research and period detail, as well as detailing the recipes referenced in each episode. That’s fine, because it’s a fun giggle-fad and it’s good for a theme party when you’re spicing up your engagement calendar with your mad men and women friends.

Ro’s Recipes: A Savory “Mad Men”–Night Meal

In her last post, Ro Howe, chef-owner of Barraud Caterers, in New York City, looked back at how fashions in food changed dramatically from the recovering postwar fifties to the revolutionary  late sixties. She provided a menu of “Mad Men Moderne,” early/mid sixties-style dishes . . . with a bit of updating to suit our 21st-century tastes.

Celery Sticks with Roquefort Mousse and Dried-Cranberry/Walnut Garnish

Yield: Six portions as part of an amuse selection

Equipment:
Measuring spoons and cups
Small bowl
Wire whisk or hand mixer
2 medium bowsl
Rubber spatula

Ingredients
1 Tbsp. minced dried cranberries
1 tsp finely chopped walnuts
½ tsp sugar
Pinch chili pepper

3 sticks blemish-free celery stems, washed

1 C cream cheese
½ C Roquefort

Method
Combine cranberries, walnuts, sugar, and chili.

Cut celery into 1 ½-inch-long pieces. Shave a thin slice off the bottom curve of the celery to allow them to sit without rolling.

Whip cream cheese and Roquefort until light and mousse-like.

Put into a small Ziploc bag, cut a small hole in one corner, and pipe into the celery.

Garnish with a generous sprinkle of cranberry mixture

 Broiled Pineapple With Bacon-Spiced Pork Belly With Roast Pineapple and Lemongrass-Ginger Syrup

Yield:  Six portions as part of an amuse selection

Equipment:
Measuring spoons and cups
Small bowl
Ovenproof sauté pan
Tongs
Small saucepan
Small mesh strainer
Half sheet tray
Kitchen propane torch
Chinese or other soupspoons

Ingredients:
2 Tbsp. orange zest
2 Tbsp. sugar
1 ½ tsp. ground coriander
1 ½ tsp. ground cardamom seeds
2 tsp. kosher salt
½ tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1# pork belly—whole piece

1 ½ Tbsp. canola oil
4-inch root end piece lemongrass, minced
1 ½ tsp. peeled, minced garlic
1 ½ tsp. minced shallot
1 Tbsp. minced fresh ginger
½ tsp. minced jalapeño

¾ C water
2 Tbsp. fish sauce/nam pla from Asian groceries
1/3 C sugar

1 ½-inch slice peeled, cored pineapple
2 tsp. minced cilantro

Method:
For the spice mix, combine the orange zest, sugar, coriander, cardamom, salt, and pepper. Rub liberally all over the pork and store covered in refrigerator over-night.

Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees.

Wipe spice rub off the pork with a paper towel.

Heat a small ovenproof sauté pan. Add 1 Tbsp. canola oil. When shimmering, add pork and sear till well caramelized. Turn over and caramelize the other side.

Place pan in oven and cook for eight to ten minutes. Allow to rest.

When cool, slice the pork into small squares.

For the syrup, heat a small saucepan. Add 1 ½ tsp. oil. When shimmering, add lemongrass, garlic, shallot, ginger, and jalapeño and caramelize.

Deglaze pan with water and fish sauce. Simmer, covered, for 20 minutes, making sure evaporation does not occur. If liquid level goes down, add hot water to make up for any loss.

Add sugar and melt.

Strain, return to pan, and reduce to a light syrup.

Cool and reserve.

Place the pineapple on a half sheet tray over a sink and torch until lightly burnt. Turn it over and torch the other side. When cool enough to handle, trim into small pieces.

For service, reheat the pork, place in Chinese soupspoon and drizzle warmed syrup over it. Garnish with a piece of pineapple and a sprinkle of cilantro.

spiced pork belly with roast pineapple – lemongrass-ginger syrup

Chocolate mousse – with spicy caramelized shiitake

Ro’s Recipes: Munchables for Oscar Night, Part 2

Image: TheCelebrationShoppe.com

Here are recipes suggested by Ro Howe—chef-owner of Barraud Caterers, in New York—as munchables that will give you a meal but still keep you in the living room on Oscar Night. She ends with day-ahead preparation tips. She offered a more extended menu in our previous post.—Ed.

Mushroom Frittata

Yield: six portions as part of a grazing cocktail buffet

Equipment

Measuring cups and spoons

2-inch pastry brush

Cheese grater or Microplane

Medium wire whip

11-inch ovenproof sauté pan

1 small bowl

1 medium bowl

Large, heat-proof rubber spatula

2 large platters

Ingredients

2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

1 C chopped onion

2 Tbsp. minced garlic

1⁄4 C extra virgin olive oil

3⁄4 # Cremeni or other mushrooms, brushed clean of soil and chopped

Pinch cayenne pepper

1 tsp. Herbes de Provence, minced

Kosher salt to taste

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

9 large eggs, beaten

3/4 C grated mixed Gruyère and cheddar

1/4 C chopped flat leaf parsley

Method

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Heat an 11-inch ovenproof sauté pan. Add olive oil. When shimmering, add minced onion. Sauté until the onions are golden—about 3 minutes. Add garlic and sauté another minute. Reserve them in small bowl.

Heat sauté pan again. When shimmering, add chopped mushrooms in two or three batches and sauté over high heat to caramelize them. Return onion, garlic, and mushrooms to the sauté pan and add seasoning, stirring over medium heat.

Whisk eggs well in 10-inch medium bowl. Pour into mushroom pan and stir to disperse evenly.

Sprinkle with cheese.

Cook over medium heat until the bottom is set—about 3 minutes.

Place pan on top shelf of oven. Cook until the eggs are just set—about 10 to 12 minutes. They should have a little jiggle in the middle, which “carry over cooking time” will take care of.

Remove from oven and let sit for five minutes.

Using a heatproof rubber spatula, release the frittata’s edges from the pan. Place a platter upside down on the pan and, using oven mitts, reverse the pan so the plate is on the bottom. Remove the pan. Repeat the procedure with another plate to put the frittata right-side up

Cut into 1 1⁄2-inch squares and sprinkle with parsley.

Serve hot or at room temperature.

Pâté de Campagne, Poached Pear, and Pickle with Dijon-Buttered Toast

This is a simple put-together dish, but be sure to buy good-quality pâté from a good grocery store. I suggest Les Trois Petits Cochons or D’Artagnan

Yield: six portions as part of a grazing cocktail buffet

Equipment

Measuring cups and spoons

Small saucepan

Peeler

Half sheet tray

Slotted spoon

1 small bowl

Small rubber spatula

Ingredients

1# good-quality Pâte de Campagne

2 seasonal pears

1 1⁄2 C red wine

1 3-inch cinnamon stick

1 piece star anise

¾ C sugar

11⁄2 cornichon pickles, sliced

1 French baguette, sliced 1⁄2-inch straight across

6 Tbsp. sweet butter at room temperature

2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard

Method

For the pears, place wine, sugar, and spices in a small saucepan. Heat to melt the sugar and infuse the spices.

Peel the pears and dice into half-inch pieces.

Gently cook the pears in the red wine until crisp-tender. They must not fall apart. When done, scoop out the pears onto a cold plate to cool. Reduce the red wine until syrupy. Put in a small bowl drizzled with a Tbsp. of syrup.

For the toasts, pre-heat the oven to 325 degrees.

Combine the room-temperature butter and mustard and spread on the toasts. Place the toasts on a half sheet tray and toast in the oven for about 10 minutes until starting to become golden around the edges and becoming crisp in the middle, remembering that they will crisp up as they cool. Place in a small basket or on a platter.

Cut the pâté into thin slices and arrange on a plate. Cover smoothly with plastic wrap until guests arrive, since the pâté will oxidize. Arrange the pickles, pears, and baguette around the plate of pâté, providing small forks and spoons for guests to help themselves to the various components.

Blue Cheese, Apple, and Berry Port Tortillas

Yield: six portions as part of a grazing cocktail buffet

Equipment

Measuring cups and spoons

Small saucepan

Peeler

Half sheet tray

Slotted spoon

One small bowl

Small rubber spatula

3 1⁄2-inch round cookie cutter

Sauté pan

Metal spatula

Ingredients

1⁄2 C good-quality strawberry or raspberry jam

1 tsp. red port

1⁄4 C apple, peeled and diced 1/3-inches

Pinch red-pepper flakes

1⁄2# blue cheese at room temperature

4 large flour tortillas

1/4C olive oil

Method

Combine the jam, port, diced apple, and red-pepper flakes in a bowl.

Cut tortillas into circles with the cookie cutter and store them under a clean tea towel to prevent drying out.

To fill the tortilla, brush the edge with a little water.

Spread the tortillas in the center with the jam mixture.

Dollop a teaspoon of the cheese on top.

Fold over the tortilla so the edges meet and you can pinch the edges to seal. Store covered until ready to fry.

Heat a large sauté pan. Add a drizzle of olive oil. When shimmering, add a few tortillas at a time. When golden brown, turn onto other side. When both sides are cooked, remove to paper towel-lined platter. Continue till all cooked.

Serve warm.

Hummus with Radish and Cucumber 

Here’s another “shop-well, put-together” dish. If you’re in lower Manhattan, Hoomoos Asli (spelled as it is supposed to be pronounced), on Kenmare & Cleveland Place, makes a really good one.

Yield: six portions as part of a grazing cocktail buffet

Ingredients

2 quarts good-quality hummus, preferably from a Middle Eastern deli-grocery or restaurant.

2 English cucumbers, washed and sliced 1⁄2-inch

2 bunches radishes with tops (not cello bag), washed, tops and tails trimmed, and quartered

Day-Ahead Preparation Tips

As always, go through your recipes, printing them out if possible and modifying them for the number of guests.

Write a comprehensive shopping list, including those non-food items that you’ll need for your event.

Prep the kitchen ahead, clearing counters, emptying garbage, and having recycle bins ready to receive the detritus from the course of the evening.

Have the munchables ready to set out when your guests arrive, along with glasses, napkins, and plates (if you’re planning to use them).

Have the coffee machine and kettle ready to go if you’re planning to offer coffee and tea at the end of the night. This can be a useful tip to nudge the stragglers off home.

It will be a long evening so check the ice compartment in the fridge and buy extra ice if necessary. Calculate one pound of ice per person if you’re serving mixed drinks—less if you’re offering only wine and beer, so long as you have enough room in the fridge to chill them.

Do as much as possible the day or at least the morning ahead. Your job as a host is to be with your guests, not tied up in the kitchen frying tortillas or stuffing and folding crepes—unless, of course, you’re also giving demonstration cooking lessons on the same night!

Oscar Night Is a Marathon: A Menu from Ro

Most of us can't be at a Food Network party like this one.

For Oscar Night, Ro Howe, chef-owner of Barraud Caterers, in New York, offers a menu of munchables that will keep you fixed on the stars, not continually ducking out to the kitchen.—Ed.

No matter what you might think, the Oscars is a sporting event. How else would you describe a marathon of people, cars, animals, and monsters dashing, jumping, gyrating, and spinning across the screen, accompanied by frenzied music and interrupted by the usual overdose of ads selling gratuitous amounts of car-stuff, jewelry-stuff, house-stuff, and food-stuff?

The two-minute hiatuses, interposed between swift-screenings and thanks-mumblings for the awards (supposedly so lights can be reprogrammed and scenery swiveled into a new configuration), are really scheduled so the network can sell you the experience they think you need so you buy the things they’re selling.

This marathon, like other sporting events, poses a problem. How and what can you eat during the evening? A dining room dinner–sprint is neither feasible nor healthy. Putting a TV on the dining table is as urbane as trailer-camping. So what’s left?  Greasy chip nibbles in a bag in your lap?

Believe me, I have some far better options! Happily, all of them can be served at room temperature of heated quickly and placed before your guests. Not quite Wimbledon, darling, but then, what is?

Here are some ideas for munchable finger food to savor as you pay attention to the screen—munchables that will not require sitting at a table but will give you a proper meal, as long as you eat them in balanced proportions. Some of these dishes are easy to put together just before the show; others will take you longer to prepare.

Oscar Night Menu

Mushroom frittatas

Middle Eastern lamb “piggies” with fruit mustard

Chipotle-cured shrimp Magdalena muffins

Pâte de Campagne, roasted pear, and pickle with Dijon-buttered toast

Blue cheese, apple, and berry-port tortillas

Hummus with radish and cucumber

Lobster Thermidor in chive crêpes

Gingered carrot tart with cardamom buttermilk-cream-cheese mousse and carrot cake crumble

Next: recipes, and some tips on day-of preparation. 

Ro’s Recipes: Spicy Lemongrass Chicken Thighs

Here’s the main dish for the Valentine’s Day dinner suggested by chef Ro Howe in her two recent posts. – Ed.

Valentine’s Day Enchantment, Part 2: The Menu

On Thursday,  we published Ro Howe’s plan for a romantic evening  that stars you as the cunning chef who effortlessly conjures up a scrumptious dinner. Ro, chef and owner of Barraud Caterers Limited, in New York City, offers here a menu that provides a sensible structure and dishes that deliver a wonderful range of tastes and textures. She gives her recipe for one of the appetizers, classic Spanish potato and onion tortillas, in “Ro’s Recipes,” another of today’s posts.—Ed

Here’s a sample menu and some scrumptious recipes that will smooth your way to a delightful evening.

Valentine’s Day Dinner Menu

Nibbles (for the hour or so before the meal)

Classic Spanish potato and onion tortilla

Pâté de Campagne, roasted pear and pickle on Dijon-buttered toast

Spicy salmon tartare with yuzu-lime crème fraîche

 Dinner

Carrot gazpacho with apple yogurt

Spicy lemongrass chicken thighs or lamb or beef with bokchoy and  toasted cashews on vanilla rice

Apple, walnut, and mushroom salad with mushroom vinaigrette

             

 Dessert

Chocolate-kahlua crème brûlée

Next from Ro: (1) recipes, shopping, and other planning for the sweet night, and (2) a follow-up post on preparation and day-of tips.

Ro’s Recipes: Valentine’s Day Dinner Appetizer

Here’s one of the nibbles I suggest for the delectable “day of enchantment” dinner you’ll be preparing.

Classic Spanish Potato and Onion Tortilla

Yield: six portions as an amuse offering before a meal

Equipment

half sheet tray

mini-muffin tin

measuring cups and spoons

small wire whip

small sauté pan

one small bowl

one medium bowl

Ingredients

2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil for tins

1 1⁄2 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

1⁄2 cup minced onion

6 Tbsp. peeled, 1⁄4-inch diced, boiled potato

3 large eggs, beaten

1⁄2 tsp. Pimentón dulce (sweet Spanish paprika, available at despananyc.com)

Kosher salt to taste

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

2 tsp. chopped flat-leaf parsley

Method

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Liberally brush mini-muffin tin with extra-virgin olive oil. Place muffin tin on a half-sheet tray.

Heat a small 8-inch sauté pan. Add olive oil. When shimmering, add minced onion. Sauté until the onions are golden—about 3 minutes.

Add the diced potatoes. Remove to medium bowl and cool.

When the vegetables are cold, add the seasoned, beaten eggs.

Spoon the egg mix into the muffin pan indentations, ensuring that each has onion and potato, filling half way.

Cook 7 minutes. Rotate pan. Cook another 4 minutes. Allow tortillas to cool. Remove and store, covered, until ready to serve.

To serve, reheat tortillas in 350-degree oven till warmed. Sprinkle with a gentle flourish of chopped parsley.

 

 

Valentine’s Day Enchantment, Part 1

This is the first of a four-part series by Ro Howe (chef and owner of Barraud Caterers Limited, a full-service catering company in New York City) on how to conjure up a bewitching Valentine’s Day dinner that’s simple enough to keep you out of the kitchen for most of the night.—Ed. When it comes to Valentine’s Day, we’re all princesses in our hearts—but not necessarily in the kitchen. Few of us command a royal brigade of chefs capable of turning out an exquisitely romantic meal. Still, for many, the pleasures of an intimate Valentine’s Day celebration make dining out on that evening less than appealing.On the other hand, there’s nothing quite as unattractive as a princess who gets flustered on this of all days. Fluster may work in the movies—Katharine Hepburn flustered memorably in Bringing Up Baby—but in real life, it’s usually a distraction. Consider the possibilities. You’re planning a lovely evening with your paramour. Do you really want to splatter your alluring outfit with stovetop sauté, or end up dunking your pearls in the daube? As with all entertaining, the salient word is planning—ruthlessly. So out goes the showoff soufflé. And extravaganzas like Roger Vergé’s recipe for whole fish baked in salt with three turned vegetables and beurre rouge monté aux caviar—why court a salt-dome disaster? And you probably don’t want to try replicating your lover’s favorite childhood dish, just like Mom used to make. Rest assured, even if you’re a better cook than dear Mama, your dish won’t taste the same—taste is emotional and cultural attachment as well as flavor.

Pleasing your paramour. Having listened over time to your sweetie’s ramblings about favorite foods, you’ll cunningly devise a menu that features at least some of them. Include those dishes that you like too, and that you’re used to making. Follow the usual nutritional-balance advice, and try not to repeat food types—for instance, don’t use carrots in one dish and parsnips in another, since they’re both high-sugar root vegetables, and don’t use smoked trout in an hors d’oeuvre if your appetizer is gravlax. And even if you’re both committed carnivores, don’t serve more than one kind of red meat.

Planning the menu.

This, of course, is the all-important structure of the evening.  It’s the framework that ensures a smooth progression of tastes and the fullest enjoyment of the food. Decide the main course first, then the appetizer. If you’re following the main meal with a salad or cheese course, that should get your attention next, followed by deciding on the dessert. After all that is set, think about nibbles—what I like to call the enticements—before the meal. These should be light and flighty and flavored assertively, though not enough to numb the palate.

Keep it simple. Eliminate dishes that require serious last-minute handling. Discard any recipe that calls for you to whip and fold in egg whites or unmold and slice a foie gras terrine. Make only one dish that has to be served hot—most likely the main course—and devise the menu around cold or room-temperature nibbles, appetizer, and dessert. This will ensure that only one dish requires oven attention.

Make it light. Even if your honey normally eats like a truck driver—or for that matter, is one—don’t overload on starch, heavy carbohydrates, or too much meat. You don’t seriously want the light of your life to flump down on the sofa after dinner and fall asleep, do you?

Give yourself a chance for romance. Select dishes with easy serving and plating—as simple as pulling them out of the fridge or the oven— so you can quickly get back to the most important aspect of the evening: entertaining your partner with your own irresistibly compelling presence and the perceived magic you’ve conjured by producing this wonderful, delightful, delectable, delicious, fabulous . . .well, you get the picture.

Sustain the illusion. Finally (and this harkens back to the “ruthless” admonition), after you’ve completed all your prep—but before you’ve set the table and chilled the bubbly—take the time to organize the kitchen, no matter how tiny it may be. Set up areas to accommodate food scrapings, dirty plates, silverware, and oven dishes. Have food-storage bags or plastic containers ready to easily refrigerate leftovers. This, you understand, will be your task while the object of your affection is programming iTunes. The magic can be totally obliterated by a shambles of dirty dishes that have to be hovered over while opening another bottle of something, or confronted the next morning when stumbling in to make coffee.

Next: Ro’s Valentine’s Day menu and a recipe for nibbles. Coming soon: shopping and prep lists, and, of course, the recipes.

Thanksgiving Countdown, Part 4: Tips for the Big Day

The menu is planned, your contributing chefs have their assignments, and the shopping is underway. Time now to think about the day itself, and ways to make it run smoothly and enjoyably for your guests and for you. And even on this day of classic overindulgence, it’s possible to structure things so that guests are pleasantly satisfied but not stuffed.

Here are some suggestions for two crucial areas: meal structure, setup, and serving, and that often-overlooked but inevitable activity: clean-up.

Structure, Set-Up, and Serving

Introduce some small changes into the usual routine. Whatever the usual structure of your Thanksgiving celebration, I suggest you change it in one or two noticeable but not seismic ways. Perhaps you usually start by offering guests a glass of wine. Instead, why not serve a not-too-alcoholic, Prosecco-based cocktail with fruit or fruit juice? It’s lighter and more festive. Set out light nibbles, or tiny portions of richer fare, and encourage your guests to partake. The cocktail ‘hour’ matters here, as science tells us it takes about 20 minutes for the stomach to signal the brain that there’s food in it, and to start the process of feeling full.

Change the plates. You can subtly encourage your guests not to overindulge simply by your choice of dinner plates. Less-than-jumbo plates with deep rims will help with portion control, particularly if guests are serving themselves on a buffet line or family-style at the table—most people tend not to place food on the plate rim.

Consider serving courses. If the meal is served around the table—as opposed to buffet-style casual seating—a light course or two before the feast will continue to trigger the stomach-to-brain messages without having guests fill up too quickly. A light, flavorful soup makes a warm and soothing start. A small composed salad, served on individual plates, also does the trick. Pauses between courses, while the table is cleared and wine is poured, contribute to a more leisurely pace for the meal.

With a buffet, plan the culinary sequence. Serving ourselves at a buffet, we all tend to “eat with our eyes,” putting more on our plates than we might actually want. Help your guests to outwit this natural response by strategic placement of the platters. Put veggie dishes at the beginning of the buffet, then the turkey or other protein, and finally the starches—stuffing, yams, mashed potatoes—at the end.

Prepare some conversation game-changers. Arrange it with your guests so they’ll come to the table with a few new topics in hand. You might ask them to prepare a sentence or two about what they’re thankful for this year, or to read a few lines of favorite poetry, or to talk about a book or article they enjoyed. This kind of shared preparation can be especially useful when the conversation shows signs of veering into familiar ruts.

Clean-Up

No matter how wonderful the food or glorious the table setting, if you’re disorganized the day will not be a success. Everyone who enters the kitchen and sees a mess will register it internally, and it will detract from their relaxation and enjoyment of the meal and the occasion—if only to make them say to themselves, “This clean-up is going to be a terrible drag.” If you hope to lift the day’s celebration out of its old routines, the kitchen may be one place to start.

Strip the kitchen for action. Unless you have an army of servants, the most important thing is to banish everything—and I do mean everything—that doesn’t pertain to the meal from the kitchen the night before. If you’re not serving the fruit in that bowl on the counter, off it goes to the den or study. Dog food and treats should be moved into to the closet, phone and message pad can take a nap in the bedroom. All surfaces must be cleared and ready for action.

Prep the night before. As you complete your kitchen strip-down, make sure you have on hand the things you do need for the next day. All plates, platters, and serving utensils should be waiting and out of the way. Garbage and recycling bins should be empty and ready to go. All pots, pans, and dishes that you’ve used for day-before prep should be washed and put away, and the dishwasher should be emptied. All the tools and utensils that you’ll need for the next day’s cooking should be within easy reach.

Come up with a spatial game plan. Designate an area for plating (or plattering) the food. Have another one in mind as a ‘holding area’ for dirty pots, pans, and tools until they can be cleaned. (This should not be the sink—it’s too vital.) Think about where the dishes cooked by your guests should be placed when they first arrive, before serving.

Communicate the spatial organization to your ‘helper’ guests. Explain the system, and where things should be placed, to everyone who’s helping you. If you’ve thought out the logistics, you won’t be tempted to say those fateful words, ‘Wherever you can find room.’ Instead of being intimidated by disorganization and mess, your guests will want to chip in and help. They’ll feel good about it, and so will you.

Final Thoughts

So give thanks to whomever: God, or the gods, for the land and the harvest, for good friends and family, and for the fortune of sharing in the bounty. People who are acquainted with need understand the importance of gratitude, thoughtfulness and thankfulness—something that’s often forgotten in the rush of day-to-day life. And isn’t that what Thanksgiving is all about?

Thanksgiving Countdown, Part 3: The Menu

Charles Edouard Edmond Delort (1841-1895), "The Harvest Festival"

I approached my first encounter with Thanksgiving dinner with a degree of wonder and anticipation. And I was mildly surprised to discover that it was a very close cousin to the British Christmas dinner, which also features roast turkey with gravy, stuffing, roast potatoes, winter veggies—and lots of all! Cranberry relish, sweet potatoes, squash and pumpkin were the only new items for me.

As with the harvest festivals of Europe, the menu for the original Thanksgiving was based on seasonal abundance. That is the core for any good, successful menu. Living among New Yorkers of many different nationalities, over the years I’ve enjoyed learning how newcomers adapt their traditional cuisines to the celebration. Recently arrived Chinese Americans, for example, may serve rice along with the potatoes and sweet potatoes—for many Asians, a meal is simply not complete without it.

Regional differences are wonderful to explore in a Thanksgiving menu: ham in the South, for instance, andouille in Louisiana, or chile, cilantro, and corn in New Mexico. Perhaps one of your guests has ties to another region, and this year’s menu could be built around it.

As I’ve mentioned, much of the drudgery and sometimes disappointment of Thanksgiving arises from repeating the usual, threadbare patterns. One spot for a shake-up is the menu. The strategy might be to feature the usual beloved ingredients but in a different—and importantly, more portion- and calorie-controlled—configuration. Introduce rich, high-calorie favorites as tiny bites before the meal and as small tastes at dessert. In between comes a selection of familiar foods served in fresh ways and given a colorful veggie tilt.

Here’s a menu that combines all of the above: regional variations, harvest-season abundance, touches of richness, and the lightness of vegetables prepared in new ways. It’s not necessarily a menu to re-create for your table—rather, it’s to inspire you and get you thinking about how you might shake up your own menu this year.

Recipes for many of these dishes may be found online. A recipe for the butternut squash soup appeared with the previous Thanksgiving Countdown. The gingered carrot-pumpkin bread pudding and cream cheese mousse appears with this one, and the sticky toffee banana bread pudding will arrive with Countdown Part 4.

I’d love to hear about the menu you’re planning for your Thanksgiving celebration, and the new dishes you’re planning to try this year.

Nibbles (for the hour or so before the feast)
Mini-seafood corn dogs with red pepper mayonnaise
Individual cauliflower mac and cheese with pimenton-powder crumbs
Pate de Campagne, roasted pear and pickle with Dijon-buttered toast
Saint-Marcellin cheese with maple-toasted pecans

Dinner
Butternut squash soup with whipped chevre and nutmeg-cocoa dust

Herb and pancetta marinated roast turkey with jalapeno-cheddar cornbread stuffing
Spinach frittata with pickled radish and arugula, apple vinaigrette

Minted white and green asparagus
Roasted beets with lemon thyme-infused extra virgin olive oil
Savory mushroom-potato-hazelnut-cranberry crumble
Roast sweet potatoes with gingered green beans

Arugula, mint, celery and fennel salad with toasted hazelnuts, rosemary-orange vinaigrette

Dessert
Gingered carrot-pumpkin bread pudding with orange marmalade cream cheese mousse
Apple-raisin crumble with peanut butter ice cream
Chocolate brownies
Sticky toffee banana bread pudding with Bourbon crème fraiche

Ro’s Recipes: Gingered Carrot-Pumpkin Bread Pudding with Orange Marmalade Cream Cheese Mousse

This delicious bread pudding carries the intrinsic character of the Thanksgiving feast. It embodies the comfort and warmth of childhood desserts in cold weather, using healthy, forthright, honest ingredients prepared in a simple straightforward way.

Yield: six dessert portions

Equipment
Cutting board
Chef’s knife
Three medium bowls
Fine mesh sieve or sifter
Measuring cups and spoons
Fine-holed grater
Electric hand mixer
6 to 8 ramekins holding 3 or 4 ounces each
Medium ice cream scoop
Small sauce pan
Small wooden spoon
Six small containers or bowls
Small rubber spatulas
Wooden chopstick
Sheet tray
Tin foil

Ingredients
1 and 2/3 Cups flour
1 tsp. ground ginger
½ tsp. ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg
1/8 tsp. ground allspice berries
1/8 tsp. ground cloves
1 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. kosher salt

1 and 1/3 peeled raw carrot, grated fine
1/3 Cup pumpkin puree

¼ pound sweet butter
7/8 Cup granulated sugar
1 egg
½ tsp. vanilla extract

1 Cup pureed, good quality orange marmalade
2 Tbsp. Myers rum
1 tsp. vanilla extract
½ Cup water

1 Cup cream cheese
5 Tbsp. granulated sugar
1/8 tsp. ground cardamom seeds
1/8 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
½ Cup heavy cream, whipped

Method
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Butter and flour 6 3 or 4-ounce ramekins.

In a medium bowl, sift the flour and spices. Divide the flour mix into three batches.

Combine the finely grated carrot and the pumpkin puree.

In a medium bowl, beat the butter until light and fluffy. Add the sugar and cream the mixture until it is light. Add the egg and vanilla extract. Add the carrot-pumpkin mixture and divide into three batches.

Place one batch of flour in a large bowl. Add the first batch of carrot mixture. Mix thoroughly with a small wooden spoon. Add a second batch of flour. Stir and add the second batch of carrot mix. Stir to blend, then add the final batch of flour followed by the final batch of carrot mix. Stir until all is blended.

Using an ice cream scoop, fill the buttered, floured ramekins halfway. Place them on a sheet tray and bake for 20 – 25 minutes, until the puddings have risen and are golden brown.

While the puddings are baking, prepare the syrup. In a small saucepan, combine the well-pureed orange marmalade, rum, vanilla extract and heavy cream. Warm to make a pourable liquid.

When the puddings are baked, with a wooden chopstick poke five holes in each one, down to the bottom of the ramekin. Drizzle the orange marmalade syrup into the holes in each pudding.

For the cream cheese mousse, beat the cream cheese until light and fluffy. Add the sugar and keep beating. Add the ground cardamom and two twists of black pepper, and beat again. When all ingredients are fully blended, fold in the whipped cream to lighten the mousse. Refrigerate until serving.

To serve, reheat the puddings, covered in tin foil, in a 300-degree oven until well warmed. Top with a dollop of cream cheese mousse straight from the refrigerator, for a delightful hot-cold effect.

Thanksgiving Countdown, Part 2: Planning Ahead

It doesn't have to be this overwhelming.

Bringing Thanksgiving dinner to the table can be a satisfying labor of love or a miserable nightmare. It all depends on how well organized you are, long before you reach for your prep apron. Rather than exhausting yourself the day before and day of, plan on spending the previous days knocking small tasks off the To Do list. That way, you’re more likely to enjoy your guests, and the day.

Here are some steps to help you plan ahead.

Set the menu and gather your recipes.  Once you’ve decided on the menu, gather your recipes together. If possible, print them out so you can make notes. If necessary, adjust the ingredients to reflect the number of servings you’ll want. Most recipes allow for 4, 6, or 8 portions, so if you’re expecting a larger tableful, you may need to scale up.

Draw up your shopping lists. Use the menu and recipes to create two lists: dry and shelf goods that can be bought in advance, and perishables that will need to be purchased just before. If you’re ordering a special turkey, you’ll want to do it sooner rather than later. It is well worth the extra cost to buy a fresh-killed, certified organic bird from your butcher. (When you buy from the supermarket you are paying for the water pumped into the bird to preserve and fatten it when freezing!)

Draw up the non-food ‘to do’ list. These are the things that tend to get overlooked until the last minute, when they can wreak havoc on even the most organized schedule. For example: ordering flower arrangements, selecting and checking over the table linens, polishing the silver. Use this list as the start of a pre-Thanksgiving timeline, and make sure all the tasks have been slotted into  specific days.

Create your kitchen prep list. Go through your recipes one by one and break each down into separate tasks. Figure out what can be done ahead, and how much beforehand. For example, raw pastry dough can be done on the first day of kitchen prep—wrapped in plastic, it keeps happily in the fridge for days. If you’re making my butternut squash soup (posted today in a separate article), it can be made three days ahead. So can some appetizers, mayonnaises, and salad dressings. Some dishes can be pre-prepped the day before and then finished the day of—green beans can be trimmed and asparagus can be peeled the day before, then blanched on Thanksgiving morning. There’s nothing more satisfying than checking off the tasks, one by one, on a well-organized prep list.

Develop a timeline. This is essential. In addition to the non-food ‘to do’ tasks mentioned earlier, you’ll want to assign every item on your kitchen prep list to specific days, along with your shopping. If you don’t overload any one day, you may find that you actually enjoy the process as you go along—and that when Thanksgiving Day rolls around, much of the essential work has already been done.

Accommodate those who enjoy contributing. Your guest list probably includes at least a few people who like to bring something to the feast. Start by deciding which items on your menu can be store-bought, and who might enjoy contributing them. There are some delicious baked goods to be found these days, and all sorts of good ice creams (my favorites are the ones with a peanut butter base).  If the supporting chefs in your group usually make the same thing every year, you might ask them to do something different that’s a better fit with your menu—they might enjoy the challenge of trying something new.

Start shopping. Using your ‘dry’ and ‘perishable’ shopping lists as guides, start replenishing supplies like flour, salt, baking parchment and aluminum foil, sugar, spices, and other stand-bys. A few days before your first kitchen-prep day, focus on the final items on the ‘dry’ list, including any that will keep for a few days: vegetables, paté, butter, and eggs, for instance. The second phase of shopping should begin the day before kitchen prep begins, focusing on the ‘perishables:’ salad greens, table flowers, herbs, and of course, the bird.

Next: In time for your shopping and to-do lists, Ro’s Thanksgiving menu—and the first of two dessert recipes.

(Image: The Bitten Word.)

Ro’s Recipes: Roasted Butternut Squash Soup with Whipped Chevre and Nutmeg-Cocoa Dust

Butternut squash soup is the quintessential soup for Thanksgiving. It wears a pale autumn-orange shade, is sweet, warm, and comforting in flavor. But to complete the magical trifecta, the texture must be nothing less than perfecta! So puree it well and pass the soup through a drum sieve. You will be rewarded with perfection.

Yield: 6 appetizer servings

Equipment

roasting pan or half sheet tray
chef’s knife
cutting board
tinfoil
wooden skewer
measuring cups and spoons
small bowls
large heavy bottomed saucepan
long handled wooden spoon
medium bowl with fine mesh drum sieve/tamis
hand held burr blender, food processor, and/or blender
pastry scraper or large rubber spatula
small fine wire whisk
small rubber spatula
small sauce pan small wooden spoon
nutmeg grater or fine-edge microplane
soup ladle
medium ice cream scoop

Ingredients

For roasting the squash:
1 large or 2 small butternut squash
2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/8 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg
1/8 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp. ground allspice berries
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 Tbsp. Madeira

For preparing the soup base:
2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/3 Cup chopped onion
½ Cup peeled, chopped carrot
½ Cup washed, chopped whites of leeks
1 ½ tsp. minced garlic

For the soup:
4 Cups chicken broth
2 Cups water
½ Peeled Idaho potato, chopped
2 Tbsp. Madeira
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

For the whipped chevre:
½ Cup fresh young chevre
2 Tbsp. heavy cream

For serving:
1 Tbsp. fine bread crumbs
½ tsp. butter
1/8 tsp. freshly ground nutmeg

Method
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Halve the squash (or squashes) and discard the seeds. Rub with oil. Sprinkle with dry ingredients. Sprinkle with Madeira. Place on a roasting pan or sheet tray. Bake, loosely covered with tinfoil, for about an hour. Test with wooden skewer. Bake further if needed. The squash should be very tender.

While the squash is roasting, prepare the soup base. Over moderate heat, add oil to a large, heavy-bottomed saucepan. Add the chopped vegetables. Sweat over moderate heat, stirring to prevent scorching. When the onion and carrots are softening and the leeks well wilted, add the garlic. The heat should be moderate and the vegetables will exude liquid.

When the squash is tender, scrape the flesh into the vegetable saucepan and stir well to combine. Add the liquids and seasoning. Stir and finish cooking, partially covered, at medium-low heat (about 30-45 minutes). When all is very tender, taste for seasoning.

Cool the soup in preparation for pureeing and sieving. To do this quickly, transfer the soup to cold containers and place them in a cold water bath, or fill the sink halfway with cold water and place the soup pan in the cold water to help cool the soup. (If you’re prepping the soup ahead of time, once it’s cool it can be refrigerated until you’re ready to move to the next step.)

While the soup is cooling, set up a fine mesh drum strainer/tamis sieve in a bowl slightly larger than the sieve so it sits comfortably.

Puree the soup to very fine using a food processor and/or blender or a hand held burr mixer. If the soup is too dense, dilute it with a little cold water or cold chicken stock. Taste and do the final seasoning.

Process the soup in small batches and transfer to the sieve. Using the straight side of a pastry scraper or rubber spatula, scrape the puree through the tamis to the bowl beneath. Keep an eye on it so the level of the liquid beneath does not touch the mesh.

Transfer the soup to a plastic container to refrigerate, or if serving immediately, pour into a clean sauce pan to reheat.

For the whipped chevre, whip the cheese till light and fluffy with a fine wire whisk. (For larger amounts whip in a mixer.)  In a separate small bowl, whip the heavy cream until it forms soft peaks. Using a small rubber spatula, fold the cream into the chevre. Refrigerate till ready to serve. At that point, bring it out into room temperature a little while before serving—you want to have a pleasing contrast of warm and cool, but not refrigerator-cold.

For the crumbs, heat the butter in a very small pan. Add the crumbs and toast till light golden. Add the cocoa and nutmeg and reserve until serving.

To serve, reheat the soup over gentle heat, keeping an eye out to make sure it doesn’t boil. (Boiling will coagulate the proteins which will fleck the soup and make it unsightly.)

Ladle the soup into warmed bowls. Place a tablespoon-sized scoop of whipped chevre into the center of the bowl and dust with the spiced crumbs.

Thanksgiving Countdown: First Steps to a Terrific Holiday

Photo: Ben Franske

What makes a great Thanksgiving celebration? We all know the answers: a warm and relaxed atmosphere, welcome guests, delicious food, a lively flow of conversation and camaraderie—and a hostess who makes it all seem effortless. This month, WVFC is offering a holiday celebration of its own: a Thanksgiving countdown that will help all of us—hostesses, supporting chefs, and guests alike—to open the holiday season with a day that’s satisfying to body and soul, and as stress-free as we can make it.

With that in mind, we’ve asked Ro Howe, acclaimed chef and owner of Barraud Caterers, to kick things off with the first of a four-part countdown for Thanksgiving hostesses and chefs. Ro’s series takes us from initial ideas to planning and prep,  menu, and day-of tips, with a few of her favorite recipes for good measure. As the month goes on, Ro will be joined by writers who’ll address other aspects of the season, from emotional stresses to maintaining good nutrition and keeping the holiday pounds at bay.

As we wind down this year of tumultuous events—global, national, and perhaps personal—who among us couldn’t use the warmth and bonding that a terrific holiday season can provide? We welcome your thoughts and comments on how to make it a truly joyous time of year, this year especially.

And now, we turn it over to Ro.  – Ed.

Traditions are those paths that we walk in a repeated pattern. This can be reassuring and warming, but it can also be wearing. Often, an alteration in pattern and style can bring a refreshing change.

Thanksgiving is an example of such a tradition. I don’t suggest breaking the mold, but shaking it up a bit. Looking afresh at your usual Thanksgiving celebration might help dislodge some of the calcification that builds up between people in familiar situations, and add to everyone’s enjoyment of the day.

And as the hostess, you are in control. You have the power to change, enliven, educate, dispense comfort, and create joy. The trick is to wield that power with delicacy, flexibility, and precision. If you “gentle” each area just a little as you go along, you can both re-create and honor your traditions. Here are some easy ways to do just that.

Shake up the guest list. When the same people introduce the same topics every year, it often results in the same impasses, which can deaden not only the conversation but the exchange of new ideas. This phenomenon is usually a product of habit rather than dominance, so if you approach the old immutables with a suggestion of “play,” perhaps your guests will be tempted to venture beyond the familiar patterns. Ask a regular guest or two to invite someone they think would not only enjoy your celebration but could contribute a bonhomie that might cut through the traps of familiarity.

Send out actual invitations. They don’t have to be formal or sent through the mail. Even an email would be more graceful than the usual ad hoc phone conversations about where and when. (You can design the invitation yourself, or get inspiration from websites that manage invitations, such as evite.com or paperlesspost.com, which features some beautiful and sophisticated designs.) Whether paper or digital, think carefully about your wording and choose an invitation that will establish the overall style you want to carry through in your dinner. Make it silly-cute, warm-funny, straight-factual, or spiced with intrigue or enticement, but make it genuine and recognizably in your ‘voice.’ This is one spot where your ‘power’ as the hostess should come into play, but delicately—suggested rather than stated. Your authentic ‘voice’ matters.

Alter the setting. This doesn’t mean redecorating your home, just rethinking how it’s arranged. Change the positions of chairs in the living room; reorder the photographs on the mantle; change the books on the coffee table; sweep away any incidental clutter. It can be as simple as that! And keep in mind, this is not just for your guests. It’s for you too—to help you to feel freshly welcome in your own home.

Rethink the seating. If your guests aren’t sitting around the usual table, perhaps the well-worn conversational patterns won’t emerge quite so easily. If you usually gather around the table, why not try something different? You might remove the objets d’art and your mother’s tureen from the sideboard and use it to stack plates and napkins, then arrange your beautiful meal on the dining-room table so that guests can serve themselves. Move the dining chairs to the living room, clear off the small tables to accommodate glasses of wine or plates, and encourage your guests to sit wherever they are comfortable.

Next from Ro: Advance planning and prep—your key to less stress.