Articles written by: "Roz Warren"

Roz Warren: Damn! It’s a Low-Salt Life for Us

April 4, 2016 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

Pouring salt on my food is one of the cornerstones of my identity. “Would you like some soup with your salt?” my brother-in-law will joke, watching me rain salt into his delicious homemade fish chowder.

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Library Law: Checking in Books and Breaking Up Fights

March 23, 2016 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

We librarians are expected to check out your books and answer your reference questions. But we’re often called upon to perform other tasks. For example, breaking up fights between moms in our play area.

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Roz Warren: Less Is Less

December 29, 2015 by Roz Warren

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I can’t afford the world travel, the pricey coffee table art books and the expensive restaurant meals that I used to enjoy. Do I miss those things? Not enough to return to the rat race that makes them possible. This is what I’ve discovered — having less means having less stress.

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I’m a Jew in a Christmas Book

December 17, 2015 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

The one thing all these stories have in common is an enduring sense of Jewish identity. All of us have found that even as we encounter and embrace a diversity of traditions, we remain Jews. You can have a Christmas tree in your house, put on a Santa suit and distribute holiday gifts to the homeless, or delight in the gigantic illuminated rotating Frosty the Snowman on your neighbor’s roof and still be Jewish.

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Roz Warren: Men in Trees

October 16, 2015 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

For a couple of hours my backyard was full of very attractive men. Fueling, of course, a favorite fantasy of single women everywhere—cute guys growing on trees!

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Cantor Debbi: Have Torah, Will Travel

October 4, 2015 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

Where a more traditional cantor might turn down the opportunity to officiate at an interfaith or LGBT wedding, Debbi Ballard’s approach is to focus on the possible. “I‘d rather say ‘yes’ than ‘no’,” she explains. “’No’ ends the conversation. ‘Yes’ begins a dialogue. With ‘yes,’ you leave the door open.”

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Baby Names, Teeth, God and LSD

August 25, 2015 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

Last week a patron at the suburban library where I work spent five minutes telling a colleague all about why (and exactly how) she should use a water pic. This inspired me to log onto my favorite Facebook Librarian Hangout to ask: “What’s the oddest thing a library patron has ever said to you?”

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This Essay Needs a Better Title

July 24, 2015 by Roz Warren

By Roz Warren

Titling has been never my strong suit. Writing a publishable essay? I can do that! But coming up with an amazing title for that essay? Not so much. Thank God for editors! And Facebook!

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The Cactus Thief and the Would-Be Library Lap Dancer

June 5, 2015 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

Our favorite librarian polled her fellow shelvers in order to make this list of Outrageous Questions People Ask Librarians. Under the “Hanky-Panky” Category: “Last week, a patron asked me to have sex with him in the alley.”

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CHANGE: Roz Warren’s Response to our March Challenge

March 30, 2015 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

I doubt I’ll ever dress up as an alien space monster and attend a “Doctor Who” convention. But who knows?

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On the Money: A Female Face on the $20 Bill!

March 21, 2015 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

What female face deserves to replace Andrew Jackson’s on the $20 bill?

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How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse or Repel an Irate Library Patron

February 15, 2015 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

In the wake of a major disaster or calamity, promises “The Survival Handbook,” you’ll . . . know how to make a radio antenna with a Slinky, revive a dead car battery with aspirin, and start a fire with potato chips.

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Oy Vey! It’s Kosher Porn!

February 3, 2015 by Roz Warren

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By Roz Warren

The cover of “Kosher Porn” shows a sexy mensch who gazes at the reader with bedroom eyes . . . as he lights a menorah.

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What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?

December 30, 2014 by Roz Warren

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New Year’s Eve plans, from the exultant (“Getting married on New Year’s Eve has long been a dream of ours that finally came together”) to the sour (“I make it my mission to go to bed before the ball drops.”)

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Parenting Is a Joke

December 6, 2014 by Roz Warren

Click here to purchase on Amazon.com. Proceeds from your purchase help fund Women’s Voices‘ nonprofit mission.

By Roz Warren

Thanks to Twitter, when an amateur comic who is also a parent cracks a good joke, the world listens! And if you need a good laugh, you should, too. Check out this sampling of the best wit, wisdom, and wisecracks from “The Big Book of Parenting Tweets.”

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